Best Ski Resorts

SKI Magazine recently listed their Top 10 Ski Resorts based on reader polls. I disagreed with almost every choice, so here's the new Top Ten Ski Resorts Where I've Skied.

10. Lee Canyon Ski and Snowboard Area, Nevada
This place actually sucks big time, but I needed 10 to complete the list.

9. Breckenridge, Colorado
I've never skied here, but I drove passed it in the summer. It's definitely better than Lee Canyon.

8. Marquette Mountain, Wisconsin
They get hammered with lake effect snow and no one skis in the trees because it's against the rules. Best in the Midwest.

7. Powder Mountain, Utah
This place is always empty.

6. I don't know, somewhere in Colorado. Steamboat maybe?

5. Brighton, Utah
Too many snowboarders and people with really short skis.

4. Alta, Utah
I like the easy-access traverses for powder and the 70s lodge decor. Skiers only.

3. Whistler Blackcomb; left coast, United States Lite
I can't go here anymore now that a Canadian Quarter has the same value as an American Quarter. Too bad because the resort is incredible.

2. Jackson Hole, Wyoming
Incredible terrain and long runs with a sustained, steep pitch. If only they got more snow.

1. Snow Bird, Utah
I applied for two jobs here. I turned one down since it only paid $4.75 an hour. I was turned down for the other job for reasons unexplained. I'm putting them at #1 because the resort is always empty, and I'm trying to show people I don't hold grudges.

Honorable Mention, Worst Ski Resort: Deer Valley, Utah
These bastards gave me a pass for a free lift ticket. I called the day it expired to ask if I could ski the next day and they said no. They can all go to hell.